I've decided I want to be the next baseball commissioner. I really thought about world domination, but decided I really don't need all that stress. I mean getting Hugo Chavez to play nice is nearly impossible. Just ask Juan Carlos of Spain. I also have a idiot proof Middle East peace plan, but the operative word here is idiot. Just one idiot messing it up for everyone else kills it. And we know how many of them are out there running the world today. I mean pick a country. There's at least one idiot in the inner sanctum. Is that some new warped rule of politics that I missed?
Baseball has less stress.
So that's my back-up plan. Baseball commissioner. Not just baseball commissioner though. The first female grass roots baseball commissioner. It's time the regular fan took over. I decided my new career path after watching the weirdest off season in recent memory, (Santana to the Mets? Congressional hearings, the Mitchell report??)I know that there's no WAY I could screw up baseball anymore than it is. Yes, Bud Selig I am talking to you.
I have some good ideas about drug testing, the play-off format, ownership smackdown, Hall of Fame voting, and salary caps.
I believe that once my ideas are out there, the general baseball fan will rise up in a massive grass roots effort and install me as the first female baseball commissioner in history.
I can't wait.
In the words of Jack Nicholson in Batman, "wait'll they get a load of me."